There and Back Again
by xKyuketsuki
Summary: Yet another story where normal everyday people get sucked into Middle-earth, but what happened if they had all read the books? He who becomes Boromir is scared to death of arrows and she who becomes Frodo is ryoaly pissed about having to become insane...
1. Rediscovery

I've decided to take a brake from my number one obsession and work and a new one that popped up not three weeks ago when I watched the move and finished the book.

Pronunciation: 

Lyell: Lie-el

Ryken: Rie-ken

Badall: Bad-all

Roseran: Rose-ron

Suksir: Sook-seer

Lars: Lars (exactly how it looks)

Adorn: A-dorn

Ken: Ken (you should know how to say Ken)

Salmas: Sal-mas

Tom: Tom (everyone knows Tom!)

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There and Back Again

'The Lord of the Rings is awesome!' exclaimed Ryken, his eyes as blue as the bright sky. 'I've never read anything like it!'

Lyell nodded as the bell for homeroom sounded. Quickly all the loitering students pushed and shoved, trying to get to their classrooms on time. 'Yeah, happy I forced you to read them even though you were falling asleep sometimes?'

Ryken rolled his eyes. 'You don't need to rub it in.'

'Yeah, well, I gatta go,' she said sneaking him a kiss. 'See you in lunch.'

'Sure, see you!' he called after her as she joined the mass of kids going down the hall.

'Hurry up! Hurry up!' she hissed as she passed a girl grabbing some last minute things from her locker and slamming it shut again to join the mass going in the other direction.

'Hey!' Lyell exclaimed as she rushed from the tiled hallway to the blue carpeted classroom.

'Wow!' said Lars, Lyell's very close friend and Legolas-lover buddy. 'You're here before the bell!'

The blonde hired girl smiled as she walked further into the classroom. '_Joy to the world that I'm on time!_' she sang.

'Would you, um, stop now?' asked Lars.

Lyell scratched the back of her head as she smiled rather embarrassed. She smiled to he teacher, Mr. D as she passed him and sat down in the desk beside her friend. 'Guess what!'

'What?' she replied. 'Now where's my thousand dollars?'

Lyell heaved a sigh, lying back in the cushioned chair. 'I'm broke. Anyway, I've got…' She started to count on her fingers. 'Forty-three, no forty-four pictures of Legolas on my computer now.'

Lars' big green eyes went wide. 'You gatta give me 'em!'

She waved her hand. 'Sure, sure.'

'You better.'

'I will! Oh! By the way, Ryken wanted everyone after school to play a game of football.'

'Yeah, sure. Count me in.'

'Cool! See you then.'

Over the loud speakers a student spoke: 'Please say the pledge of allegiance.'

Lyell rolled her eyes and reluctantly stood, not wanting to leave the comfort of the cousins. 'I pledge allegiance to the flag…'

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'Great!' shouted Ryken, looking at everyone who stood on the cracked and rarely used street of Alton. 'We're all here!'

'Get out of the street!' yelled an old and wrinkly woman from the window of a neighboring apartment.

'We'll be fine, Mrs. Northup!' called back Ryken.

The old woman scowled and slammed the shutters closed making some of the chipping white paint flake off.

'Let's get on with the game!' shouted Tom. 'I wanna play some serious football!'

Ryken turned to the cousins Adorn and Ken. 'You got the ball?' he asked.

With grins that slipped through their seriousness and a giggle from Ken, Adorn handed over the football.

Lyell eyed them suspiciously. Whenever those two tried not to laugh, something was up.

With a sigh Badall crossed his arms and looked at everyone. 'Could we just play?'

Suksir nodded in agreement. 'I'm only here to play, though I could probably beat you all by myself.'

Lars glared at the black haired boy. Nobody really liked Suksir but he made the teams even.

'Shut up, Suksir,' Roseran growled.

'Can we play, now?' asked Salmas.

Ryken nodded and threw the ball straight up into the air and blinded everyone as it sored into the sun. 'First one to catch it is the left side's captain!'

The ball came flying down and everybody missed it as it came with a crash upon the blacktop. There was a flash of light as the ball ignited sending everyone flying back.

Both Ken and Adorn started laughing in hysterics. 'Wow!' exclaimed Adorn, slapping Ken on the back. 'That worked better than I thought!'

Ken nodded. 'Yeah! That one knocked us right over! Did you see their faces?'

Lyell stood and glared at Lars' cousins. 'You two are just like Merry and Pippin.'

'They are our heroes!' shouted Adorn and they both fell once again into a fit of laughter.

'Our-our idols!' laughed Ken, holding the stitch in his side.

'Damn it!' yelled Ryken as he, too, stood. 'That was my allowance!'

'Now we can't play,' commented Salmas, rubbing the back of his head.

'Isn't that obvious?' retorted Suksir.

Lars heaved a sigh as she picked up the remantce of the once football and headed for the closest trashcan. As she threw it in she spotted a glitter of gold that reflected the sunlight in a crack by the gutter. 'Hey,' she said as she picked it up. 'What's this?'

'Looks like a ring,' said Lyell as she walked up and looked at it. 'Maybe it's made of gold?'

'Then we could sell it and get a load of cash!' Lars turned to Lyell's boyfriend with a smile. 'Hey, Ryken! Could get you a new football then, huh?'

'Looks like a wedding band,' said Roseran who had a strange interest in jewelry.

Suksir's eyes went wide as he looked at Lars' finding. 'That…ring…I must have…that ring!" He ran for the darker haired girl and as soon as his fingers touched her treasure it fired up and glowed flame words with a likeness of Arabic.

'This…this,' Lars stammered. 'Is Elvish!'

The flame grew and Lars yanked the ring from Suksir's itching palm. The light blazed up and blinded them. Then all went black.

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I know it's a typical Lord of the Rings fan fic but it gets interesting…I promise!

-Aredhen-


	2. Middle-earth

Here's some interesting things…hope you like it!

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There and Back Again

Lyell woke with a slight headache and felt damp, cold grass beneath her. What had happened? Did she fall asleep in the backyard? But then where was the dog? He should be licking her to death.

Slowly Lyell opened her eyes and looked around at her surroundings as she sat up. She lay upon a grassy hill. To her right trickled a small stream that emptied out into a little pond by a large oak tree. On her left lay a road, large and wide and well warn by the traveling of many people over its life span. It stretched out and across the land further than her eyes could follow it; beyond the horizon. From the north came a cool and light breeze that carried the fresh sent of winter.

Eight others were around her. She gazed upon the man beside her. Ryken! But he looked so much older with his scruffy beard, warn clothes and long brown hair to his shoulders. It was as if he had aged into his thirties over night.

Lyell shifted uncomfortably and reached around to her back to see what was slung there. She felt a box type-like object and pulled it off; up over her head. She looked at it with curiosity; a quiver. Golden vines and leaves intertwined with one another across its leather coat and inside lay twenty or more beautiful, hand crafted arrows. Lyell had always been good at archery in gym class but what the heck was she doing with a quiver full of arrows?

Someone stirred beside her and she jumped to her feet, dropping the quiver as a bow fell from her lap.

'Oh, where am I?' groaned one of the smaller people. She sat up and looked over in Lyell's direction with her soft green eyes as her curly chestnut hair bounced around her shoulders. 'Lyell!' she shouted. 'How'd you get so big?'

'L-Lars?' the blonde stammered.

'Who else would I be?' the miniature girl snapped.

'What happened?'

'I donno.'

Lyell looked around the hill. 'Where are we?'

'Your guess is as good as mine.' Lars lifted up her small hand and opened her fist to reveal the golden ring. 'This,' she said. 'Had words on it that looked like Tolken's Elvish, but they're gone now.'

Lyell studied her friend a moment. "What happened to you? You're so small. Sort of like a hobbit.'

Lars looked to her large, hairy feet and screamed. She then quickly looked up to her friend.

'At least I haven't changed,' replied she. ''Sept for these fairy tale clothes.'

A smile crept across Lars' lips. 'Not necessarily.'

The blonde looked to her curiously. 'What do you mean?'

Lars put her fingers to extend her ears like a rabbit.

Lyell looked at her oddly and lifted her hands to her ears. She slowly felt them upwards to a point. 'They're like an Elf's!'

Lars nodded slowly.

'I'm an Elf, you're a hobbit and Ryken is thirty!' she sighed. 'Now what?'

Lars looked around to see who else was on the hilltop with them. 'Look,' she said, pointing to two others her size. 'They are Adorn and Ken. There's Salmas too! They look just like me!' She beamed as the others came around as if in a dream. 'There's Roseran. He's small but still bigger than me, and Tom and, _damn!_ Badall is _old!_' She looked around to everyone who sat in the damp grass; Badall with his staff and wizard's cap; Ryken with his sword and worn look; Tom with his shield and horn; Roseran with his battle axe and short stature; Adorn, Ken and Salmas with their hobbit appearance; then lastly to her Elven friend, Lyell. 'I understand now!' Lars shouted and looked to the ring in her hand. Quickly she shoved it into Lyell's. 'Here! Take it! I don't want it!'

Lyell looked to the golden band. 'Why not? You seemed so fond of it before.' She stopped a moment. '"Fond?" When would I use a word like "fond?"' She shrugged, dismissing it.

'Don't you all get it?' Lars shouted, getting to her feet. 'Four hobbits, and Elf, a dwarf, two older Men and a really old man with a wizard's cap. Where are we? _What_ are we? We are stuck in a book playing the characters!'

Now it was Lyell who stood up and looked down at the little hobbit girl. 'It isn't real!' she shouted. 'It was all just a book!' She put her fair hands to her face and sobbed as the ring fell from her grasp into the emerald grass.

Ryken got up and rubbed his head. 'Man,' he said looking about. 'That explosion from the Merry and Pippin wannabes must have knocked me out 'cause, _damn_ this is the weirdest dream.'

Lars strode up to Ryken and punched him in the leg, for that was all she could reach.

'Ouch!' he cried pulling away. 'What was that for?'

'Does one feel pain in a dream?' Lars snapped.

Badall walked over to where the sobbing Elf stood and picked up the fallen ring with his staff. 'Then this,' he said. 'Is the One Ring; the Ruling Ring.' He handed it back to Lars but she pushed his staff away.

'I told you, "I don't want it,"' she replied.

'I'm ganna die!' Tom wailed, clinging to his shield. 'I'm ganna get pumped full of arrows!'

Roseran turned to the man. 'What makes you say that?'

'Because,' he replied. 'The only other human is Ryken and he's obviously Aragorn! Boromir died by arrows!' Tears started to form and a second of the Company began to cry.

'Ah!' Badall shouted, releasing the Ring from his possession. 'It holds too much evil for me to bear long.'

Ryken went and held his sobbing Elf. 'I know it's hard to accept but-'

'A little?' Lyell interrupted as her tears ran dry. 'If we are all characters from a book as Lars says, then I am supposed to be a _male_ Elf!' She rubbed the salty sadness from her eyes as she turned to her friend. 'Okay, let's put your theory to a test, Lars. I am the only Elf so I must be Legolas.' She turned to the worn old man with a smile. 'Badall, you must be Gandalf.'

The old wizard nodded. 'Naturally, I already knew that.'

Lyell smiled. 'You, Ryken,' she said, leaning on his shoulder as she lifter his hand to her cheek. 'Must be Aragorn, for you bear the serpent ring.'

Ryken looked to his hand and wrapped around his finger lay a ring fashioned in the form of twin serpents with emerald eyes, their heads meeting beneath golden flowers which one devoured and the other upheld.

Lyell looked around and saw the little dwarf. 'Roseran, you've got to be Gimli. You've always loved jewels, too,' she laughed. She turned to see Tom crying with his shield. With a sigh she rolled her eyes and got up. 'Snap out of it!' she demanded, smacking his across the face. 'You may be Boromir but we're not going to let you die!'

'But-but,' he stammered, not crying now and a little taken aback. 'He called for help and no one came and that orc dude shot him full of arrows.'

'You're going to be _fine_!' Lyell shouted. 'I won't leave you.'

Slowly Tom nodded.

'Good,' said she and looked around. 'That leaves the four hobbits. Who is who?'

Badall looked over to Lars. 'You, my dear hobbit, must be Frodo for you are the Ring-bearer.'

Slowly Lars crept to the golden band, hidden in the grass. She peered down at the tiny object.

'It is a heavy burden, Lars,' said Badall, looking to her kindly. 'But if I know you, you can handle it.'

Lyell picked up the ring from the ground, placed it in Lars' palm and curled the Bearer's fingers over it. The blonde tightly held her friends concealed fist. 'I know you can pull through, just as Frodo did.' She winked at the hobbit. 'And I promise if I see Gollum, one of these arrows shall meet him.'

Lars smiled somewhat. 'I do not know how to carry this burden but I shall. As Frodo said in the Council of Elrond, "I will go but I do not know the way."'

Tom whimpered over in his corner. 'No arrows, please.'

'Adorn and Ken must be Merry and Pippin,' said Salmas.

'All right!' shouted the cousins as they gave each other ten.

'That means…Sam,' Lyell said.

'Yeah?' answered Salmas for 'Sam' was his nickname.

'You must be Sam,' she replied.

'O' course I am,' said he. 'It's my name.'

'No, no. The _hobbit_ Sam.'

'Oh!' Salmas smiled turning a nice shade of pink.

There was a whinny not far off and they looked to see a pony with baggage upon it's back, not too far up the hill.

'That must be good, old Bill!' exclaimed the little blonde hobbit.

Ryken nodded and grabbed hold of the animal's reigns. He smiled as he handed them to Salmas.

'What are we to do now?' asked Roseran.

'Wait!' Lars shouted. 'Suksir! Where is he?'

Ken shrugged. 'Maybe he wasn't zapped here with us?'

Lars shrugged in agreement. 'Maybe not.' She looked down at the Ring. 'I shan't like caring you around or going crazy because of you but I must do it.'

Lyell gave the little hobbit a hug. 'That's my Lars.'

'Where do we go from here?' asked Roseran, picking up his axe. 'To Moria? Rivendell? Lothlórien? Where?'

'I say we go to Rivendell,' Lyell said as she stood straight again. 'Perhaps Elrond can explain what has happened?'

Badall nodded. 'It should not be a long journey.'

Ryken nodded as well. 'Aragorn sure knew the land well. I know exactly where we are. The Ford can't be more than three, four days from here.'

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Wait till they actually get to Rivendell!!!!! Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

-Aredhen-


	3. Flight to the Ford

Thanx for all the reviews!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get you more chapters. I've been quite busy and had almost no time to type. I'm glad however that you are liking the story. Tom is a bit of a pansy, I know but his character will grow in time. Sorry about Lyell and her obsession with Legolas, too!!

And they are on their way!

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There and Back Again

The Company had begun their journey on to Rivendell for the answers only the Elf, Elrond could provide. The first thing they had done was to find the Road. It was wide and worn into the earth. Scuffed feet kicked up the dirt and made noses want to sneeze. From there they would be led to the Ford and on the Rivendell.

On this particular day the sky was overcast with a dark and gloomy gray. The menacing clouds peered down upon the Company, threatening to rain. There was a harsh and piercing breeze coming from the north out of the Ettenmore. But despite the unforgiving weather, Adorn and Ken still managed to find a way to enjoy themselves.

'Come on, Merry!' piped Ken, who had, along with Adorn, decided to call everyone by the character they had become. 'Frolic with me!'

'Okay!' agreed Adorn. 'If you say so, Pippin!'

Soon the two were bouncing with a skip down the Road, kicking up the dirt as they went.

'Wasn't it bad to be on the Road?' asked Salmas.

Tom shrugged. 'Guess not,' he said. 'We're all right. Nothing's happened…yet.'

'Come on, Frodo!' said Ken as he took hold of his cousin's arm. 'Frolic with us!'

Lars sighed and started to skip between the two pranksters, adding to the mini-dust storm behind them. Why the heck was she doing this?

A faint noise was heard in the distance but everyone ignored it…almost everyone.

Lars stopped dead and listened. 'Please don't be what I think it is,' she repeated over to herself as she closed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

'What is it, Frodo?' asked Adorn.

'Are you okay, Miss Lars?' Salmas inquired.

Lyell cocked her head to listen, for she heard the sound as well: hooves upon the Road.

'Flee!' Badall cried as five black figures appeared behind them. 'It's the Nazgûl!'

'The-the Nazgûl!?' screamed Tom as he bolted. 'I'm gonna die!'

Lyell stood and turned around to face the legendary Black Riders.

Down the Road charged five mighty horsemen cloaked in black armor. Within the hoods of their cloaks lay emptiness and it chilled Lyell. Their steeds of velvet black glided across the ground as their hooves beat like thunder. The Ringwraiths had come at last.

Lyell looked at them charging her way. 'Oh, crap.'

Lars hit her in the calf. 'Shoot! Shoot!' she cried.

'Huh?' asked the blonde, turning to her.

'Your bow and arrows! Shoot at their horses!'

Lyell nodded. 'Go! Run! It you they want!' and with that she pulled out her bow as Lars fled with the others. With Elven speed and skill she retrieved an arrow from her quiver and shot it at one of the black horses. Swiftly she strung another and let it sail after the first.

The arrow flew and hit the animal in the muzzle. The creature reared up in pain and knocked its rider off.

The bow of Lyell sang as she put her bite into the Ringwraiths' horses but they seemed to be enduring her hits more than any natural beast should. Lyell went to pull another arrow but her hand grasped at naught; her quiver had been depleted. 'Damn!' she spat and bolted after the others. She found it easy to sprint across the land and did not feel fatigued. This of course was due to her Elven build. 'They are coming!' she cried as she veered off the road and into the wood. Lyell listened carefully and went in the direction she heard her friend's footfalls.

The trees loomed over her like a pack of hungry wolves and it unsettled her as she tried to get away from the sound of painting horses.

From out of the thicket of trees a flaming arrow shot past Lyell and into the nothingness of the Ringwraith's hood. The creature screamed a sound that none of them had ever heard before and it sent chills down their spines.

Lyell burst into a small clearing where she saw Ryken loading another fire arrow into his bow. He aimed and shot another Ringwraith with the accuracy of Aragorn.

'Do you think I'd leave you by yourself?' Ryken asked with a smile.

'Stop with the arrows!' Tom wailed.

Without warning the two remaining Ringwraiths turned away from the Company and Lyell noticed Lars was missing.

'You fool!' she yelled. 'Take off the Ring! You remember what happened to Frodo! Take it off!'

The Black Rider slashed the empty air and Lyell knew it was Lars who was there.

'No!' she cried and unsheathed an Elven dagger from her belt. With as much speed and force as she could muster, she rammed the blade into the black cloaked creature and it cried in pain Only Elven weapons could truly hurt such an unnatural creature, for they made the keenest of blades. 'The Ring!' Lyell screamed. 'Lars, take off the Ring!'

Being the only creature of the Dark Lord left, the last of the Nazgûl turned and fled into the night.

'Lyell!' cried a voice in pain as Lars came back from the realm of the Ring. The little hobbit breathed heavily as she looked up to her friend with glossy eyes and Lyell dashed to her side.

'You complete and utter fool!' Lyell spat as she searched for the wound. 'Of all the stupid, irresponsible things to do! And what's worse? You go and do it right in front of the Nine!'

'Only five came,' said Badall. 'I do not know where the other four are, nor do I wish to find out.'

Salmas came running up, full of concern. Adorn and Ken closely followed him with the same look of fear pouring from their eyes.

Ryken came, took Lars and picked her up. 'Take all the supplies off Bill. He will have to be a riding pony until we reach Rivendell.'

'There was some sort of plant that helped heal Frodo, was there not?' asked Roseran, the dwarf.

Ryken nodded as Salmas began to relieve Bill of his burdens. 'Athelas,' he said. 'You shall continue on to Rivendell until I have found it. Stay _off_ the Road. Badall, I leave you in charge until my return.'

The old wizard nodded in agreement.

Ryken placed Lars on Bill and turned to Lyell. 'Keep an eye on her.,' he said and kissed the blonde lightly on the cheek. He took a step back and looked at the Company. 'I shan't delay any longer. Go! Off to Rivendell!' and with that he disappeared into the darkness of the wood.

'Can't wee eat before we go?' asked Ken as he rubbed his round little belly.

'Look, Pippin,' Lyell said and then caught herself with a growl. 'Now you've got me doing it!' Look, _Ken_, now is not a time to be eating. Now is a time for walking. We need to get Lars to Rivendell; to Elrond. I may be an Elf but I do not know how to tap into their magic.'

Ken snorted but made no other protests.

Badall gave a slight smile and soon they were on their way the Elven haven of Rivendell.

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Time passes and Lars did not improve. The Company wondered eastwards through the wood, away from the Road, as they had been instructed. Badall lead the way with Salmas and Bill, who bore Lars, not far behind. Ken and Adorn followed the pony and close behind walked the Elf, Lyell. Taking up the rear was Tom, walking tall and proud as Boromir would.

The light faded from the wood as night crept forth to engulf them. The trees crowded close together around the Company as they walked, making their going slow. Badall made a lantern of his staff and they could see clearer. Ken and Adorn's feet dragged heavily as they longed for hot meals and a mug of ale, while Salmas snacked on an apple he had found in his pack.

Lars lay like a pale heap on the pony, bill and moaned loudly as her arm lay limp and useless to the side. She did, however seem conscious and held on tightly to Bill's mane with her functional hand. Her eyes were only glossy slits and she heaved the air in and out with great labor.

Lyell looked sadly to her small friend. How many times had Lars read those books and still she put the accursed thing on her finger? The Elf sighed. Some temptations just could not be resisted. The Ring was one such temptation.

'You know,' said Tom after a time. 'I've been doing some thinking as we were walking. I seem to be thinking a lot since I knew I was going to die, but any-'

'You're not going to die,' Lyell said curtly. '_None_ of us are.' She glanced fearfully at Lars.

Tom sighed. '_I've been thinking_,' he repeated. 'And I do not recall Boromir ever meeting the Dark Lord's lakies.'

Roseran shook his head. ' He did not but the story is already a mess. Not Gimli, nor Gandalf, nor Legolas or Boromir were present when this happened to Frodo, but we seem to be here with Lars now.'

Tom nodded.

A rustle was heard in the not so distant brush and the Company jumped hut to their relief, Ryken strode out from the darkness of the forest.

'I have found it,' said he and rushed over to the little hobbit astride Bill. 'Build a fire and boil some water. Hurry! We have little time!'

Adorn and Ken nodded and hastily gathered together some twigs to begin the blaze as Salmas fumbled in his pack for his canteen.

Badall lowered his staff into the center of the wooden pile and spoke the words of command, _hauar an edraith ammen!_ At once a great sprout of green and blue flame caught and crackled on the wood.

Roseran searched through a pack on Bill's side for a bowl in which to boil the water, while Lyell picked up Lars and laid her beside the fire on the soft forest floor.

The Elf shivered, for Lars was cold like ice and needed the heat the melt the cold and darkness that held on like an unwelcome visitor.

Soon the water was boiled and Tom brought it to Ryken, who sat beside the wounded hobbit.

The Rover crushed the long leaves of the Athelas plant between his fingers and dropped them into the bowl. He carefully bathed Lars' shoulder in the liquid, where she had been caught by the Ringwraith's deadly weapon. The fragrance of the steam was refreshing and those who were unhurt felt their minds calmed and cleared.

Warmth returned to the Ring-bearer and her eyes lost some of their haze and fog.

'This is all I can do for the time being,' Ryken said. 'But she needs Elven healing.' He turned to Lyell. 'Are you sure you can not help her?'

The Elf shook her head. 'There is nothing I can do. We must find Glorfindel. He will guide us safely to Rivendell.'

'Where was it they met him?' asked Tom.

'I believe it was just beyond Troll Country,' Roseran replied. 'Though I am not sure.'

Badall nodded, remembering that this was true.

Ryken nodded as well. 'Let us rest here. We will head for that land tomorrow, when we are refreshed and ready.'

'T-t-t-t-t-trolls?' stuttered Tom.

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The Company had awoken early and started on their way. They had been walking long now and the feet of the pranksters dragged heavily.

The sun was now high and it shone down through the cracks in the canopy, lighting ahead where the trees thinned and a path was found. The Company followed the track for some time and Adorn was getting anxious.

'Well,' said Adorn as he walked with a growling belly. 'I could do with a song about now to lighten the walk. 'He turned to the curly haired blonde, leading the pony. 'What do you say, Sam? Give us a jolly good ol' song.'

'Be happy there's daylight,' said Lyell. 'Or you wouldn't be able to sing any songs. We're in Troll Country now.'

In the back Tom whimpered.

Salmas smiled. 'I believe I recall a very appropriate song,' said he as they trudged on. 'Mind you it's a lot of gibberish but the tune's a good one.' The little hobbit took a deep breath and began to sing.

__

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,

And munched and mumbled on a bare old bone;

For many a year he had gnawed it near,

For meat was hard to come by

Done by! Gum by!

Up came Tom with his big boots on.

Said he to Troll: 'Pray what is yon?

For it looks like the shin o' me nuncle Tim.

As should be a-lyin' in a graveyard.

Caveyard! Paveyard!

This many a year Tim been gone

And I thought he were lyin' in graveyard.'

'My lad,' said Troll, 'This bone I stole.

But what be bones that lie in a hole?

Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o' lead,

Afore I found his shinbone.

Tinbone! Thinbone!

He can spare a share for a poor old troll

For he don't need his shinbone.'

Said Tom: 'I don't see why the likes o' thee

Without axin' leave should go makin' free

With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin

So hand the old bone over!

Rover! Tover!

Though dead he be, it belongs to he;

So hand the old bone over!

'For a couple o' pins,' says Troll and grins,

'I'll eat thee too, and gnaw thy shins.

A bit o' fresh meat will go down sweet!

I'll try my teeth on thee now.

Hee now! See now!

I'm tired o' gnawing old bones and skins

I've made my mind to dine on thee now.'

But just as he thought his dinner was caught,

He found his hands had hold of naught.

Before he could mind, Tom slipped behind

And gave him the boot to larn him.

Warn him! Darn him!

A bump o' the boot on the seat, Tom though

Would be the way to larn him.

But harder than stone is the flesh and bone

Of a troll that sits in the hills alone.

As well set your boot to the mountain's root

For the seat of a troll don't feel it.

Peel it! Heal it!

Old Troll laughed, when he heard Tom groan,

And knew his toes could feel it.

Tom's leg is game, since home he came,

And his bootless foot is lasting lame,

But Troll don't care, and he's still there

With the bone he boned from its owner.

Doner! Boner!

Troll's old seat is still the same

And the bone he boned from its owner!

'Well, that's a warning to us all!' laughed Adorn.

'Fun song, Sam,' said Lars since the Athelas plant had revived her some.

'I don't much like being in the back anymore,' said Tom softly.

Badall smiled and came around behind him. 'There,' said he. 'I am the back end now.'

Tom gave an unsure smile and looked up to Salmas, who was in the front of the line with Ryken, who was leading the way. 'Did his name have to be Tom?'

Salmas chuckled lightly with a smile.

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The sun sank low and the Fellowship dared to venture near the Road. Adorn and Ken complained loudly of empty bellies and so the Company agreed to rest by the Road for the night. There was no one upon it and the stars twinkled brightly in the night sky.

Soon there was a fire blazing and food was cooking as the mischievous hobbits licked their lips in anticipation. When they began their meal a faint sound was heard that filled their harts with fear: hooves upon the Road. Swiftly the Company stamped out the fire, scattered the evidence of camp and fled further into the wood. They stopped and hid, looking down upon the Road. They could see it clearly in the dim light. The sound of hooves grew closer and Tom whimpered in fear.

Lars wearily sat up and listened as the sound grew near and as it did so another sound joined that of hooves; bells. 'That does not sound like a Black Rider,' she said faintly.

Ryken nodded, hearing the sound as well and leaned to hear better. Suddenly a look of joy spread across his face. 'It is an Elven horse!' he said. He ran down to meet him calling, 'Ai na vedui Dúnadan! Mae govannen!' He stopped dead in his tracks. 'Hey! I know Elvish! Cool!'

Lyell smacked him over the head. 'And so do I.'

The tall Elf paused his horse and looked over to the Company. 'I have found you at last!' He dismounted his snow-white steed and walked to Lyell. 'Princess Legolen, I did not know you were to come with them,' he said in the silvian language of his people. 'Is not Mirkwood the other way?'

'I did not know I would be coming, either,' she replied in the same tongue.

Adorn stepped out from his hiding place. 'You are who?'

The Elf bowed with a smile. 'I am Glorfindel, here to direct you to Rivendell under Lord Elrond's wishes,' he replied in the language of Men.

'Glorfindel,' said Lars softly. 'Do you not see that something is amiss?'

The Elf looked to her oddly. 'Do you mean the Ring? Or the fact that you are injured?'

She shook her head. 'No. I am a girl and so is she,' the hobbit said, pointing at Lyell.

Glorfindel wrinkled his brow. 'You are supposed to be and Legolen has always been.' He walked up to Lars who sat upon the pony. 'You are not well, Lady Frodan.'

'Bit in the book..,' she trailed off.

'What book?' Glorfindel asked. He turned to the others. 'I see she has been affected badly.'

The Company smiled a little and Lyell giggled.

'Close your eyes, Lady Frodan,' said Glorfindel.

'My name is Lars,' she said.

The High Elf looked at her sideways. 'I do recall being told it was Frodan. You are the Ring-bearer, are you not?'

She nodded. 'But my name is Lars. L-a-r-s.'

Glorfindel shrugged. 'We have not much time. The Nine are on the move.' He placed a slender hand on Lars' wounded shoulder. 'Please, Lady Lars, close your eyes.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lars let her eyelids slowly fall and she felt warmth in her arm. Some strength returned and she gripped Glorfindel's arm tightly. 'I thank you,' she said and let go as she opened her eyes. 'I know this is all you can do.'

The High Elf nodded as hooves were heard once more in the distance. 'They come!' he cried and lifted Lars off the pony. Swiftly he placed her on his own white steed. 'Asfaloth will bear you to the Ford and swiftly. Now go!' He uttered a word in Elvish and the animal bolted.

Lars looked back upon her friends. Ryken stood ready to fight as Tom fearfully held up his shield. Both Lyell and Glorfindel had bows drawn and ready. Roseran held his axe in defiance; no trace of fear outlined his expression. The tree hobbits, no more than spots to her now, drew their swords fearfully but ready for battle.

The Ring-bearer held on tightly to Asfaloth's mane as he increased his pace. The sound of many hooves was heard behind and fear gripped Lars like ice. She would make it, right? After all Frodo did. But things, as Roseran had pointed out, already swerved off the path of the books. Perhaps she would not live to see the Ford.

The Nine galloped close but the white horse kept in front; outrunning them. The black creatures howled as they rode on, feeling the Ring and the one who would soon join them in their dark realm, not far ahead.

Lars felt faint as the animal's hooves beat the ground and she felt water on her feet. 'The river!' she thought with joy. 'We have made it to the Ford!'

Quickly Asfaloth crossed the river and faced the Black Riders.

They came up forcefully but swiftly halted on the shore.

'What say you now?' Lars jeered. 'O mightiest of the Dark Lord's lakies.'

'And what say you?' they replied in her mind. 'Why not cross the river and tell us again?'

'If it is the Ring you wish then you must cross yourself and take it from me! I shall not hand it to you!'

The first stepped into the water and the others followed close behind.

Lars looked down the crystal lake and into the gorge but no water came but the steady ripples of the river. Fear rose up in her as the Nazgûl slowly made their way across the river.

Suddenly, loud as thunder came the sound of rushing water.

Relief overcame Lars as the leader of the Black Riders lifted his hand and the hobbit was stricken dumb. She could not move and she felt faint.

Swiftly the water of stampeding horses came down upon the black creatures. The water beasts' frothing hooves crashed upon them and strangled cries were torn from them.

White flame appeared in the corner of Lars' vision, driving the darkness away. It was strong and intense and nothing compared to it in her mind for the rest of her days.

The water seemed to rise with the roar of confusion and engulf Lars together with her enemies. She heard and saw no more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow! Got that chapter done! Friggin' long thing to type!

Next chapter's gonna be so much fun!

Complements to Mr. Tolkien for writing such an exquisite song on Trolls.

-Aredhen-


	4. Rivendell

Wow! I'm back! Check it out! Finally, for all of you who have been pleading for more, here it is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There and Back Again

Lars slowly awoke to the realm of the conscious and living. She groaned as feeling returned to her, for it also brought pain. Birds chirped in the not far off distance and the bright light of day shone through her closed eyes. Beneath her Lars felt a warm and comfortable bed. She snuggled into the fluffed pillows and soft blankets.

"Welcome back, my dear Lars," said some one from close at hand

'It must be Saturday and that is my father come to wake me,' thought Lars. She smiled to herself as she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Last night she had had the weirdest dream in which she was Frodo and Lyell was Legolas but no she was called Legolen and herself Frodan. All her other friends had been a part of it as ell as the other members of the fellowship. Then the Nazgûl came and chased her to the ford and what was it? Oh, well. It was all a dream anyhow.

"I take it you are felling better?" asked her father as she opened her eyes sleepily, but it was not her father. There in the corner of the room sat a tall thin man. He wore a lofty and pointy hat that matched his gray cloak. His deep eyes looked intensely at her but his old and wrinkled face smiled at her as his beard drooped down into his lap.

"Gandalf?" Lars breathed wide-eyed and then felt the tug of a chain round her neck. Slowly she looked down to spy a solid gold ring upon the silver chain. As she ran her finger along the forbidden item what had happed for the past week slammed her.

"Have Adorn and Ken got you stuck doing that too?" Badall asked.

Slowly Lars shook her head as she felt both joy and dismay that it had not all been a dream.

The old wizard smiled. "How are you feeling, Lars?"

The little hobbit mover her arm gradually and it hurt only a little. All strength had come back and she would be able to use it. "Better," Lars stated. "Where are we?"

Badall looked to her with surprise. "Why, you do not know?"

Lars looked at him with absolute joy. "Rivendell…"

He nodded smiling.

Looking out at the fast valley the small hobbit she could smell the sweet water falling from a waterfall that tickled her senses. The sound of lilting Elven voices could be heard as white birds flew by and she looked curiously upon the architecture of the place in which she sat. It was the smooth and flowing pearl white stone and the curves of granite vines and cloth seemed to draw one's eyes to the beautiful statues of Elves.

At that moment, Salmas, who was closely followed by Lyell, walked into the room. Looks of wonder and joy came to light their eyes.

"Miss Lars!" cried Salmas.

"Are you well?" asked Lyell. "You scared us so. We thought you should never wake."

"How long have I slept?" inquired Lars.

"Almost a week now," replied the Elf.

Salmas nodded and he picked up his good friend's hand. "Oh! It is warm!" he exclaimed excitedly. "It had been deathly cold like ice before Lord Elrond had come."

"Elrond?" asked Lars. "He is here? Where?"

"Well, he is the Lord of Rivendell," commented Lyell. "I shall fetch him."

As the Elf left, Lars turned and looked to Badall.

"Sam and Lyell have almost never left your side," said he. "You are lucky to possess such friends."

Salmas smiled a big toothy grin. "Come and eat, Miss Lars. You must be hungry if you are any decent hobbit."

In walked a very tall and elegant Elf, followed by Lyell. His hair was a dark chestnut brown and tied in it was a half ponytail as was the fashion of Elves. In front of his ears hung two loose braids. His face was ageless, neither young nor old but his eyes held many secrets and countless years of wisdom. Those soft brown eyes looked kindly upon Lars as he smiled. "Welcome, Lady Lars to Rivendell," said he.

The emerald eyed one looked up to him in awe. There before here stood the one she admired so greatly. There stood, Elrond, Lord of Rivendell. Lars opened her mouth as if to speak but could not think of anything to say.

The brunet Elf smiled at the little hobbit. "It is good to see you are well."

Lars nodded as she flexed her arm to prove it. "It only hurts a little now," she replied. "I am forever indebted to you, Lord Elrond."

The Elven master smiled. "Think not of it. Now, let us feast. It is a time of celebration. Let us dawdle not on darkness for the time being. Come! Be merry!" With that said, Lord Elrond gracefully took his leave.

"Let us go!" cried Salmas. "There is food!"

"Food?" Lars asked as she pulled herself from the bed. She saw herself in a near looking glass and patted her now not so round belly. "Now that you mention it, I am rather hungry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a great banquet with, as was custom, the Lord Elrond at the head of the table. The smell of food filled the air and Lars' mouth began to water. The candles lit the room in a bright blaze, likening to daylight indoors. The dishes of gold on the table glittered in reflected light.

Beside Elrond sat Glorfindel and other the other, Badall. Both, Lars knew were mighty and powerful lords in the Elven courts of Rivendell.

In the middle of the table, against a woven cloth upon the wall, there was a chair under a canopy and there sat a lady fair to look upon and so like was she in form of womanhood to Elrond that Lars knew immediately whom she was. Young she was and yet not so. The braids of her dark hair were touched by no frost; her white arms and clear face were flawless and smooth. Yet queenly she looked and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as if one who has known many things that the years bring. Above her brow her head was covered with a silver lace netted with small gems, glittering white; but her soft gray raiment had no ordainment save a girdle of leaves wrought in sliver.

So it was that Lars saw her for whom few mortals has yet seen; Arwen, daughter of Elrond, in whom it was said the likeness of Lúthien had come on earth.

Lars looked first for her friends. She could see Salmas sitting with Adorn and Ken at the upper end of the table. Close to Arwen sat Ryken looking rather pleased as he gazed at Elrond's daughter. Further up the table sat Lyell, beside Glorfindel. The Elf fumed as she glared at the Rover beside Arwen. Lars could not find Rosran or Tom but they were there among the mass at the table.

Next to Lars on her right sat a dwarf of important appearance, richly dressed. His beard, very long and forked, was white, nearly as white as the snow-white cloth of his garments. Lars stopped eating to look at him.

"Good evening and well met!" said the dwarf and stood to bow. " Glóin at your service," he said as he bent to bow further still.

"And I am Lars-uh, erm-Frodan," she replied "It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir Glóin. Would it be rude to ask if you are _the_ Glóin? The one that traveled with Bilbo, those many years past?"

"Quite right," he said seating himself once more. "And I do not ask for I have been told already that you are the kinswoman of our dear Bilbo the renowned. Allow me to congratulate you on your recovery."

"I, um, thank you, Glóin," Lars replied awkwardly as her head spun. Everything was going almost identical to the book, right down to every word Glóin said. The fact that she was living in a storybook made her queasy at trying to figure out how this had all come about.

Glóin quickly launched into the small talk that everyone does to pass the time. Lars learned well the gossip of the Wilderland. Of Grimbeorn the old and his lands. At the sign of Lars' attentive listening he embarked on the long account of the doings of the dwarf kings. He seemed delighted to have found such a good listener for Lars showed no lack of interest and did not attempt to change the subject; she was eager to know everything she could about Middle-earth, especially those things Tolken did not elaborate on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At long length the feat came to an end. Elrond and Arwen rose and went down the hall as the company followed in due order. The doors were flung open. There a large room stood with a fire blazing in the hearth between two pillars at the far end.

Lars felt herself walking to Badall. "This is the hall of fire," said the wizard. "Here you will hear many songs and tales-if you can keep awake."

"I know, I know," Lars snapped. "Gandalf says all that in the book."

Badall nodded. "So he does."

Time passed and Elvish music filled the air with sweet melodies and silver voices.

Suddenly someone cried out, "He is mine!"

Lars turned to look. It had been Lyell who had shouted.

"I think not!" yelled Arwen, grabbing a hold of Ryken.

"In real life he's _my_ boyfriend!" Lyell bellowed grabbing his other arm.

"Look, it's okay," said Ryken calmly. "No need to fuss."

"You stay out of this!" they both yelled in unison.

"You know I don't care!" cried Arwen pulling him towards her. "You're in Middle-earth now. He's _mine_!"

"No he's not!" Lyell screamed pulling him her way.

"Yes he _is_!"

"No, he's definitely _not_!"

Elrond sat in his Elven crafted chair of bark and stone with his head upon his hand. "She's not my daughter," he said shaking his head. "She's not my daughter."

Lars went up to the two Elves and yelled, "You are being ridiculous!"

Lyell looked to the ground and let go of her boyfriend; her golden hair falling in her fair face.

Arwen did much the same as she looked out a window acting as if nothing at all had taken place that would disturb the joyous feelings in the hall of fire.

Lars looked at them sternly.  "And you call yourselves _Elves_?  You act more like women from the race of Men than Elves!  You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

Lyell turned on her.  "So this is how you repay me?  By betraying one who _is_ from the race of Men?  Maybe I shouldn't have helped!  Let you be taken by the Nazgûl!"  The wood Elf glared at Lars and then stormed off.

"Wait!" cried Ryken as Lars stood dumbfounded.  "Wait!  Lyell!"  He bolted off after her and Arwen after him.

Badall came up behind the hobbit and placed a hand upon her shoulder.  "She shall be fine," he said softly.

"What did she mean by 'is that how I repay her?'" Lars inquired looking up to the wizard.

He sighed deeply.  "When you were at the ford, did you not see white flame?"

The emerald one nodded.  "I did before I lost consciousness."

"That light," he replied.  "Was the Elven power of both Glorfindel and Lyell.  He told her how she may find her Elven talents.  You saw them for a moment upon the other side.  They are the mighty first-born.  Yes, perhaps there is a power enough in Rivendell to withstand Mordor but it shall come to pass and fail if Sauron finds the Ring."  He smiled softly.  "Do not judge her too harshly, for within still lies a teenage girl with, perhaps, some Elven wisdom seeping through.  Remember, Elves may be immortal but still have harts that can be broken and those harts cannot go on in this life."  After some time he spoke again.  "She shall be fine.  Now come!  There is someone I wish you to meet!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over in a corner sat a small cloaked figure, slumped over with a book on the floor beside him.

"Wake, little master," said Elrond with a smile and Gandalf pushed Lars forward.

"'Wake,' he tells me," said the tiny figure as he unhooded himself.  "I was not asleep.  I had been working on a song."

"Bilbo!" Lars cried.  "Is it really you?"  Now the memories from Frodo's, or rather Frodan's life filled her mind.  The sweet and beautiful shire; the taste and feel of pipe-weed smoked with her dear friend and foster-father Bilbo; long walks in cool summers' nights; tales told by firesides and many other fond memories of a past life in the shire.

"My dear girl," Bilbo said giving Lars a hug.  "It has been a long while since we have talked."

The little hobbit smiled.  "That it has.  Tell me, how has it been in Rivendell?"

"Quite well, quite well."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay so maybe this chapter wasn't quite as funny and a little bit more serious but the next chapter is hilarious….promise!

^_^


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